All that glitters

New milestone: I think you care. But it’s only an assumption with little evidence. I am so remotely close to telling you how you have been occupying my whole mind since day x. It has been a whole lot of time and my efforts only prove to be wholly inadequate – therefore I cannot fully expect a tree to grow without a seed. I will divert my energy and attention to revamping this whole thing when the time is ripe, when this time of the year ends. I will not let the little things govern my actions.

"Would you give your ex-boyfriend a second chance?"

In all honesty, this question has been wandering on my mind for weeks though I have already responded with a ‘yes’ in haste. I feel the need to say all of these because one thing’s for sure is that I truly regret saying ‘Yes’.

The answer is, no.

I believe that I am worth so much more than what I have been getting over the past years. I do not want to take a step back and bend myself over for someone that has put me through something I call Hell. I used to measure love in terms of duration, and that is wrong. Love sometimes can be more significant if we see it from a different POV; experience > duration. I never want to be put (again) in a position whereby I have to keep giving and not receiving anything in return. I don’t want to get my self-esteem hammered (again) and having to feel bad about being myself. This series of unfortunate events have made me stronger than I was in the past. And i am thankful that every single thing happens for a good reason. Perhaps in the future if/when our paths cross again, I will be more than proud than I am right now, that I did not choose you, and that i chose to not hang on to you. The choice to seize control of our lives is always ours.

I will not make mention of this whole issue again, because you are not worthy of my time and my effort. I just hope that there will, however come a day when you come across this post, and tell yourself how stupid you were, and perhaps, still are. Here’s to you, A.H.

"I have lost and loved and won and cried myself to the person I am today."

Charlotte Eriksson, Empty Roads & Broken Bottles; in search for The Great Perhaps (via wordsnquotes)

"When I’m hurt, I shut down. I turn into a total sarcastic bitch. I shut off my emotions, and act indifferent towards everything even though it might be killing me inside."

[25/9/2014]

(Source: zaynsharold)